Calmed down, babies and 2 years olds

I first want to thank everyone who commented on my last post. I do feel blessed by your support and prayers! I feel better now...I guess I had no idea what to expect when I went to that dr's appt. I know I cried when I had to do that shot because it was really the first shot I did without any support. The other injectio.ns I did on my own by my mom was there watching and giving me support...the one in the dr's office...I was all alone. The nurse told me to do the shot and she left the room. I did it, got further instructions...paid my co-pay and left. I just wanted out of there. Did I tell you that I bent the needle on the syringe while I was pulling the little cover off? I was so nervous and shaky. LOL. It really wasn't a big deal but at the time..it felt differently. After reading some of the other posts...I thought the h.cg shot would be done at home on a different day. I truly was not prepared.

Besides that...I spent the last two mornings observing at the day.care. Yesterday I was in the infant room and I was so happy. I had babies smiling at me all over the place. THey were so cute and adorable. I got to feed one baby a bottle. Most of the time, I sat on the carpet with them and played with them. I even cleaned up some spit up. Those workers do it all the time...I gave them a break. It didn't bother me. I did say to myself "I would love one of these to call my own." and I prayed for them. God love those children. This morning I observed the 2 year old room....interesting. The children were pretty well behaved until about lunch and nap time. They had had it. So much development happens at these ages...it's just amazing especially in the infant room. SO much.....it must be hard to bring one's baby to a day care and go to work. I can only imagine. THe workers at this day.care do a good job with the children. I'd feel better about it if I were a parent.

The other day I talked with a friend of ours (who adopted a baby boy) and I asked how his wife was feeling. She was suffering from endo and I encouraged him/them to look into the lap surg. I told him about my experiences etc. Well...apparantly she had it done soon after me and they did not tell us. I felt betrayed. I don't know why they kept this a secret from us but I no longer feel like I can share with them. It's hard enough to be friends with them when they adopted that baby but I got over it and now this? Maybe his wife doesn't like me or trust me. Apparantly, they didn't tell anyone. He did tell me that she is taking Clo.mid and doing some kind of shot and progesterone (like he wanted me to get all excited with this news). Great....I'm trying not to think "They'll be pregnant." in a negative way. They already have a child...I want to pound sand and I did just have a good cry over this too. I want us to be the ones with the good news!for once. I want us to be pregnant and know what it's like to have a child. It's now our turn!!!!! I know the meds are not helping me emotionally but I don't know if I can keep taking this. I'm not asking God "why?"...that doesn't help. My dh likes this couple...maybe he can maintain the friendship so when they have the "happy" news he can hear it first....I'm too emotional right now. This is one of the times IF is hard. I know most of you reading this understand all to well. It's so hard to be positive...I'm trying. Lord knows I am. Sigh. God bless to you all.

BTW...my "girls" hurt and feel like milk jugs. I'm wondering if I need to go out and buy a bigger bra. I know that is one of the side effects of the H.CG shot. I'm not complaining...I'm noticing. :)