Hi there! I actually worked quite a bit this week so that is why I haven't blogged lately. I subbed three days at the Catholic School where I go to church. I did math for the upper grades which is really not my bag...first of all, my I'm working on getting certified to teach Early Childhood and second of all, I'm not good at math at all. So, thankfully, these kids were smart enough to figure out their work on their own! Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!!
Anyway, last week was our TTC week so as always after peak day we just were not in the mood for "loving". We were both tired and this seems to happen every month. Before Peak, we are fine... after peak, we just are not into it. So, my hubby and I were discussing this and he blurts out "You're not getting pregnant this month anyways." Ya know....I found this comment to be hurtful. So, why are we trying? Why am I doing suppositories which could have side effects that are bothersome? Why? Why? Why? I realized at this point, my hubby has no more hope. He's given up on the Napro dr...which I don't blame him on that. That was such a statement of conviction I didn't know what to say or even think. Hmmm...so I've been praying a lot. I am tired of all of this too and I would like to be done as well...however I still have a piece of me that has hope and wants to know what else could be wrong. I'm going to call that other dr this week and start getting my records together and sent to him. It's kind of unfortunate the Napro dr has been so slow and seems like he doesn't care. He never did call me about the ultrasounds. He was suppose to find out if another dr in our area could do an u/s to see if I'm ovulating (that is what he said at our last appt). Do I chase him down? I am going to have a P+7 blood draw done..so I guess we'll see if the suppossitories are giving me enough progesterone. I love my husband dearly and I do understand how he feels however I think we just need to hang in there for a little bit more. Is my hubbies "lack of enthusiasm" a sign from our Good Lord that the end is near? I know we will live a happy childless life if that is what God's wants for us. When one accepts God's will...everything will be okay.
Also, The first grade teacher at the school were I subbed is pregnant again (I took over her class last spring for her maternity leave, which was an fantastic teaching experience for me!!!). She just found out last month and she's about six months along. She said that due to her kidney situation(I don't know details.) she does not get a period and this pregnancy was so different from her first. She had no pg symptoms and just figured she was gaining weight. Can you imagine??? She did a pg test to find out if she was pregnant and she was! So, her estimated due date is in June and she will have to do some kind of injections at the end so she will go full term. Her first baby came five weeks early. So, the principal has me on alert in case she goes early again or has to be on bed rest...I'll be subbing for her again. I hope nothing happens until May for I will be done with my class. Gosh...that sounds selfish doesn't it? HEeeeeheeeeheee....my last weeks of a class is so busy with finishing papers, projects and presentations. Oh, the wonders of grad school. I will keep this teacher in my prayers and her baby. I just found it interesting that she didn't know she was pg for so long. Gosh, us women with IF are so in tune with our bodies....I doubt any of us would go that long w/o knowing!!! God bless.
I can see where you felt that the comment was hurtful. Maybe that is an ounce of the pain my husband feels when I say "I can't imagine that I will ever get pregnant!" We do what we are supposed to do and still no evidence that when two people who love each other and are open to life a baby really does come. Why can't I just be naive or not care.
ReplyDeleteI will keep you in my prayers as you continue to find your way to a better doctor.
With the peak plus seven blood test it should give your dr. the opportunity to see if there is anything else that can be tweaked. Also, if done right, the process should allow you to ask questions. Also, don't forget to talk with your practitioner, who can help. I can totally understand how that comment would seem hurtful, it is probably more about him than about you. My DH had gotten really down about IF in the past. Most recently, we found basic testing through the primary care physician to be very helpful, you could encourage your DH to check into that. I also have a new link on my blog that can help look into the causes of IF for both spouses (Mayo Clinic link). God Bless!
ReplyDeleteI truly believe my DH has had enough with this infertility and just wants to be done with it all. He's accepting that we are not going to be parents. In his world this is what it is. He wants me to see another Dr for health reasons but not to push the IF issues. :(
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say I'm sorry. :(
ReplyDeleteI was going to suggest that your hubby might just be going through a slump, but I know that you are sensing that he wants to quit. It is so hard to stay on the same wavelength sometimes. I know this journey affects them in different ways too. I'm praying you will be in agreement over the next steps as you seek God's will. (HUGS)
I'm ss :( I'm sure DH didn't mean to hurt you, but I'm sure we've all (DHs and DWs alike) have had days and weeks where we just want it to be all over.
ReplyDeleteAs for that teacher, yeah I think any one of us would probably know we were pg no later than 4 wks gestational, so that is pretty crazy she didn't know!