On Monday I had to talk to the nurse at my dr's office to order the the inject.ibles that I will be taking when my next cycle starts in about three weeks. Anyway, she explained the process of needing an u/s after my cycle begins, they'll show me how to give myself the shots and two weeks after ovulating I will need to come back in for a blood prego test. I will be doing two injections of the gon.al F and one hc.g shot (ovid.rel). After ovulating I will be doing prog. suppossitories...(Crin.one). It sounds like a lot and I felt overwhelmed and still feel anxious about the whole process. This nurse was very optimistic about the meds working...I on the other hand...am not sure. Of course, I hope this does work but after 6 years and having my hopes up before....I am cautiously optimistic. I think more so now than ever! . As I drove around yesterday, I thought about being prego and telling people and then I stopped myself! What am I doing? I was getting my hopes up and letting myself for a second feel excited and I was fantasizing. I was telling my dh how excited I was and he even stopped me...it's like I just am not allowed to be excited anymore. The pain of disappointment every month for six years has ruined me from feeling true hope. I haven't even started the meds and I am preparing myself...IF hurts and it's depressing. I almost feel like I'm starting over again but am I? I think I'm afraid of the emotional turmoil of those meds....it's not the physical pain or side effects that bother me...it's the waiting...wondering...hoping...it's all of that emotional stuff that I am not looking forward too. I don't think my dh is thinking about it and my mom thinks I should be hopeful...this new IF dr has given us hope...he's doing an aggressive approach...he knows what he is doing. This dr gave us a clean slate after my recent lap surg! Is this the time for us? I pray for the wisdom to get through this...and I guess I'll just have to keep busy. This is really our last chance. I'm getting older and I'm happy with my life now. Sorry for my rambling...I keep looking on the net for success rates of hc.g shots and gon.al F. I keep looking for something...not sure what but something. Oh dear...is this going to be successful or just another time of pain and disappointment? I have to give this to our Lord and know He'll get me through this again ..like the other times. I just think I'm torturing myself with thoughts and I just need to suck it up and go with the flow. Easier said than done. Blessings.
Just as side thought about charting...I'm watching my fertile signs this month...would a lap surg change when I will ovulate? Should I expect my chart to look like the other months before the surg? What is your experience? THe one thing about charting that is a negative is that you really don't know you've ovulated until after it has happened. I know I've had times where I was dry and then boom...more cm. I wonder how I'll know when to do the HC.G shot...supposedly I'm suppose to O soon after I do the shot? I hope the nurses fill me in...because I now I have questions.
I will join you in hope and prayer that this is YOUR TIME! I hope the nurses walk you through the monitoring of your ovulation. I found it to be very tricky to judge when to take the hcg shot, but the last cycle that I did it on I just trusted my gut instinct! I am not good at trusting my instincts so that was a stretch for me, but I did get it right. Keep your spirits up, there is so much goodness in your life right now to do otherwise! Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteMy cycles lengthened after the surgery. I ovulate on average a day or two later now. It didn't happen immediately. I haven't been trying as long as you have, but I know the feeling about having a last, best hope. Being 39 myself, I see the time running out. I hope this particular path leads to something for you.
ReplyDeleteHope this helps . . . I'm on letrozole + Br.avelle injections. I did my HcG trigger shot on Monday and I should ov. today or Thursday (from all my monitoring, I suspect it will be Thursday). So I would say 3-4 days after a HCG shot you'll OV. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI generally consider it a blessing to have the hope be almost dead, but I'm *really* negative. And now that I think about it, you're totally right - how nice would it be to go through a few months of ttc, an exciting 2ww, and then a blissful if sometimes uncomfortable nine months? It sounds like you've managed to retain enough hope that you could maybe even do that. I say, go for it. If you feel hopeful, indulge it. It sounds like you're on an awesome treatment regimen. Why not?
ReplyDeleteI think your description of letting yourself hope (even if accidentally) and then letting the past discourage you from it is very relatable to many. Oh, how it reminded me of myself!
ReplyDeleteI'm certainly hoping for you that your wait will be over soon.
Hello! I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you and praying for you!
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about being sad, discouraged, and getting your hopes up. I do that all the time. I know how you feel.
Have you ever heard of Marilyn Shannon and her book “Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition”? She just came out with a 4th edition with some very helpful info on nutrition, what vitamins/supplements to take, ect. on a variety of different infertility conditions. It looks like I am doing a lot of the right things, but the rest is up to God. My Mom tells me I need to trust in God more and pray more. Sometimes when I feel sad and discouraged I don’t pray the rosary every day. I need to pray it more.
I'm here for you, my friend, if you ever need someone to cry with, need encouragement or prayer, or just want to talk. You are in my thoughts and prayers!
May God Bless you.
Love,
Maria