Since that whole "ordeal" with the adoption possibility....there is one thing that faciliator said to me that got me thinking. She said last Sat morning when I spoke to her "Your hesitation is tellling me a lot." What? Here are the facts: The acquaitance (who is friends with the facilitator) from my church called me last Thurs evening when my dh was not home and I told her that my dh wouldn't be home until late and we probably wouldn't talk much about this adoption until Fri evening when we had more time. I don't think that is hesitating. Well, the acquaintance called me on Fri again to see what our thoughts were...before my dh got home from work...and I answered "Honestly, we both worked today and haven't really talked about it." Isn't this something we need to discuss? Do people say "yes" to this sort of thing and think about it later? Well...when acquaintance informed me that the b/m wanted some medical paid...I said "Oh." I had no idea what one pays in a private adoption...maybe she thought that was a hesitation but it wasn't...it was just something we needed to know. So...on Sat when I called the facilitator and my dh and I had talked...I was taken back by her comment...where did we hesitate? She thought that other couple was a better fit for they said "yes" right away..no hesitations. Hmm....I can honestly say...we're not going to say "yes" unless we are ready and feel this is the baby for us. We'll always take time to pray and make sure we are doing the right thing. I don't know...is it me or do people say yes without much thought???? Well...I just pray we made the right choice.
I had my annual pa.p appt this am. It went well. Thank God! She didn't like hearing that we were "avoiding" TTC'ing due to my age but understood when I explained why. Next month we may start again. Honestly, this break was nice. I am ready to quit avoiding though. I don't know if we'll go back to the dr's again for help or not. She did inform me that the pep.cid that I take nightly for aci.d re.flux can affect my bones...makes them brittle. Hmmmm....she thought taking a flax.seed pill daily is a great idea and she wants me to up my foli.c aci.d intake. This dr is good and highly recommended by all the other dr's I've seen. She's even going to be moving into an office closer to my home! She is genuine and if I were to be blessed with having my own baby...I'd be in excellent care with her.
After the appt...I went shopping!!!
Besides that, I'm just working on yet another res.earch study/paper and now I have to prepare for exam 2 which is in April. This second one is not bothering me as much for I have time to make it up if I should need too. I'm doing it now to get it out of the way. Everything I can do now will help later. I have two more classes to take this summer. One of them is going to be off campus and near my friend's house. Hopefully, we'll be able to see each other more this summer! She's the one that had the brea.st canc.er. I'll be busy this summer. That's okay..in the end...all of this work and sacrifices will pay off! Afterall, I'm living God's will by becoming a teacher. I just know in my heart and soul He wants this for me/us.
Thank you again for all the prayers especially my Lent prayer buddy!! God Bless.
Hi there! In my opinion, nothing bad can ever happen from taking the time to pray. Good for you for taking it to God rather than making a split second decision!
ReplyDeleteI’m the queen of giving people the benefit of the doubt, so I’m thinking she just meant your hesitation which (per your last post) you discussed with her on Saturday. Namely, about the student teaching and needing to know now what you would/would not be able to do in the fall and how important this accomplishment is to you. Maybe she just meant that the timing and/or situation did not seem to be a good fit for you, but that a future placement opportunity might work out better. (Didn’t she say she’d keep your information? I maybe recalling wrong.)
ReplyDeleteIn any event, prayer is never a wrong answer. You were conflicted and “yes” wasn’t an option at that time. There was nothing wrong with that. I do believe there are couples who are ready to say yes, but probably because they are familiar with the scenario. Maybe the other couple was familiar with/knowledgeable about medical costs. (I wouldn’t have been.)
Ann: You are probably right...I think the way she said it made me think. She told me that in all of her out of state adoptions..she said yes without thinking about it. I informed her that we'll always pray first. That is how it is for us. Hopefully, if there is a next time..the situation will be a better fit for us!
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to comment on the hesitation piece-I had a friend who was given a similar opportunity. Her and her hubby prayed, and thought, and prayed. They asked questions. They didn't rush. They didn't feel "desperate" that they needed to jump on it. They wanted to make sure it was right. I was so proud of them. They obviously acted out of faith, out of peace, and not out of desperation. I have a friend who is doing something similar in discerning marriage. It is such a sign of faith and maturity and I think it is the perfect response. it was obviously not the right situation for you and that SW obviously was clueless at what is a more valuable quality in a potential parent.
ReplyDeleteWBR: Thank you for the nice comment..it was very reassuring. Adopting a baby is a huge decision that comes with lots of risks...this one case had some risks that everyone was very open about...which is a good thing. That being said...we definitely had to take our time to pray and make sure this was right for us. IF it be God's will...another opportunity will present itself and it will be the right time for us.
ReplyDeleteIt is so refreshing to be around you and other bloggers with this attitude. It is a good reminder to me-especially when I know it is how I should be and am not acting that way! :)
ReplyDeleteI don't think you hesitated unduly. Even if a couple has talked everything over and is a go for adoption, they should still discuss THAT BABY before making a decision. If she needed an answer ASAP, she should have told you so. This goes back to my theory that adoptive parents are in a bad market position, which said market exploits...sigh. You know what, when it's YOUR baby, that you're supposed to raise, it will all fall into place. No silly facilitator people telling you how you should run your marriage. (So there!)
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