*Update* I talked with the lady who is facilitating the adoption for the baby and she informed me that there is another couple who has said "yes" and it looks like they'll be a good match. I'm totally okay with that. She did however inform me that she works at a cri.sis pregnanc.y cente.r and is often looking for good home for babies who would otherwise be abor.ted. Wow! I explained our reasons for hesitating and confirmed that maybe later this year or early next...we just may be able to say "yes" (kind of like Mary) and have no hesitations. She gave me good advice and we had a good conversation. Really insightful. She said she'd call us if that other couples plans fell through. Hmmm.....We are working on being better "prepared".
My becoming a teacher is God's plan. It wasn't something I thought I'd ever do at this point in my life. So, either way...I'm continuing on with God's plan for me. I'm still living His will. That being said...I'm just wondering if God just sent us a huge "sign" letting us know...He may add to our plans. I don't know. I don't have all the answers but I do know one thing "Thy will be done."
I'd also like to really thank my Lent Prayer buddy! You must be working hard for me. I really had to turn to the Lord for assistance and I believe He spoke to my heart. So amazing. Prayer is amazing. Thank you!
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Praise be to God....I passed that exam. I just got the results this evening and just could not thank the Lord enough....I cried tears of relief. I'm now pretty much in on stude.nt teachi.ng in the fall. I was literally sick with worry these last few days waiting for the results. I just knew that it was all God's will. I had to remind myself to trust in Him. I wanted to feel confident in His plan for me...well.....
Speaking of plans and timing...yesterday...an acquaintance from our church called me (us) yesterday to tell me of a young mother who is going to give up her baby for adoption. The situation of this pregnancy is difficult...her family is very supportive of her giving the child up for adoption and she did not abor.t...which many would probably do in her situation. It's an amazing story really. God bless her for choosing life!!! So...back to us...the baby is going to be born in a different state and the b/m does want to meet us(if she chooses us) and wants picts of the baby, nothing else (so far). The b/m wants a Catholic couple to raise this child. This will be a priva.te a.doption. This acquaintance knew we were on a waiting list to adopt already...she thought we might be interested. Which we are however.....timing...this baby is due in Sept...right when I'm suppose to be doing my studen.t teac.hing. Ugh!
Trust me...we've been praying about this...weighing in our options. Sure, I could drop out of the studen.t te.aching program and risk all that I have worked for...to take this child into our lives. WHat if the b/m changes her mind????...I would not be able to sign up for studen.t teachi.ng again until 2011. That's a fact! I'm too late to apply for spring studen.t teachin.g. I would have to let the Universi.ty know NOW that I'm not going to studen.t teac.h too. That's a huge risk since we haven't started any of the procedings!
There is no way I can studen.t teac.h and give 100% to a newborn...not fair to the baby or us. We couldn't even put a newborn in day.care! See...timing??? If we were to go ahead to parent this child...my dh would have to p/u the baby by himself since I can't take time off in Sept from stude.nt teachi.ng. I wonder how he would handle a newborn and a car trip???hmmmm...kind of an amusing thought actually....hehehe
The other issue is money. Not that that would stop us completely. This b/m wants us to pay some medical expenses plus our own attorney fees (which we expected). For out of state adoptions...is it customery for the adopting couple to pay medical? I have no clue. We did get a good recommendation for a good adoption lawyer. Needlesstosay...this adoption could be very expensive. Ugh!
BTW: There are two other couples interested in this baby (so far).
I don't know. My dh and I have been talking a lot and are wondering if we are missing an opportunity to parent or are we messing with my opportunity to teach...if the baby was due in Dec or Jan of next year...it could be done. Anytime after Dec 2010 is good. That is why we stopped TTC'ing too! We didn't want to risk having a child when I needed to be doing my stndt teach.ing!!! I told my dh tonight that I think I've just realized how much I want to teach. I'm so close to being done! This is important to me...so much because I know it's God's will for me.
We really put adoption on a back burner because the agency we signed up with isn't doing anything. I guess my dh and I realized that maybe He's letting us know that the opportunity to parent still exists...maybe He's showing me in HIS way that I really want to teach. I don't know...there's been so much to think about. We haven't given anyone a straight answer on this one. We are just going to keep on praying...and praying...and praying...and oh yes...I'm thankful I passed that exam. (Sorry if my post about this adoption is all over the place...that is where my thoughts are..all over.) Please pray for us as we keep trying to discern God's will.
Congrats on passing your exam. In terms of the baby, so much to think about. I think if you keep praying and trying to discern His will, you can't go wrong. Keeping you in prayer!
ReplyDeleteWow. That is crazy and exciting all at the same time. If you sign up for student teaching and something unexpected happens (in this case, adoption, but for someone else there could be medical issues), what happens if you have to drop out? I mean, other than reapply for the next year, what will happen? I guess I assume that these RARE and EXTRAORDINARY circumstances do come up for people on occasion. I guess I am wondering if you could pursue both and then if the baby pans out, have to regretfully back out of the student teaching and, if not, continue on.
ReplyDeleteWow. A ton to think about, and discern. Just from reading your words (though I don't know all your thoughts), it sounds as if you are leaning towards completing your goals with student-teaching. I would go with that initial gut instinct and where your heart is leading for NOW, and wait and see what happens. I know you said they would need to know now if you can't student teach in the Fall, but I'm sure other people have had emergencies in the past, and adoption is one of those things you just can't plan for sometimes (look around just here at blogosphere)!
ReplyDeleteThen maybe by the summertime, if the bmom is STILL very interested in you (she'll be in her 3rd trimester, feeling the baby more, etc.) and you are getting clearer signs that this baby was meant to be yours, then maybe re-weigh the risks and if you decide to, go for it! (If this baby is meant to be with you and DH, God will see to it that he/she gets to you!!)
At the very least, now God has shown you that there are opportunities available to you outside of your agency. That Homestudy approval is like a golden ticket- you have it- and a child could come your way at any time!!
Congratulations on passing your exam!!! So glad you finally have the results. I will definitely keep you guys in prayer regarding the adoption situation. God can be funny with His timing. I have found when I have had tough choices like that, God's plan is revealed to me quietly. I never get a real clear sign, but just a sense of peace that a certain path is the right one.
ReplyDeleteCould you go ahead and sign up for student teaching this fall, then drop out if the adoption goes through? I know it may not look that great to the schools, but hopefully they would understand.
Thank you everyone for your helpful comments. I'm not really sure how studen.t teachin.g would be handled if an "emergancy" came up and I had to drop out. I'm sure it's happened. My advisor is also my professor this semester...I think I need to start asking questions. I know the universit.y has really strict guidelines and rules for studen.t teaching. I guess if I had too...I could drop out and reapply for when I think I could do it again. I guess my fear would be..would I reapply? I have a friend who was just as close to getting her teacher cert...but she got pregnant..and never finished. hmmm...I just really need to be better prepared.
ReplyDeleteWow, just able to post now. Lots going on in your neck of the woods. I don't have any wise words of counsel, but I can pray! I hope you had a great weekend and CONGRATULATIONS on passing the test!
ReplyDeleteGlad you got a resolution to the adoption situation and perhaps a new contact that will help you out in the future. Wouldn't it be neat if God worked through this adoption situation to put you into contact with someone who would facilitate a future adoption? Glad you are able to student teach this fall now - sounds like it is something you really want to pursue.
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