Could I have been?

I had another interesting conversation with my napro gp this afternoon.  I went in because I had one day out of sort bleeding...happened the day after a strenuous yoga session. Dr thinks I could have hurt myself down there or it could be infection but because it was only one day...she's guessing I hurt myself.  I did try some harder yoga poses so I guess that's possible.  Anyways...we began to look at my prog numbers and she tells me "IF I had seen that number last month, I would have told you to test for pregnancy."  What?  The number was 34.9....the highest it has ever been.  I did have a lot of bloat last cycle.  I remember that.  I asked her if I had a possible early mc and she didn't answer me directly (of course).  She asked if my cycle was different..besides the bloat...I can't recall anything else.  She didn't say either way but I'm now wondering.  I told my dh about it and he asked if I would really want to know...and I answered "yes."  I want to know if our hard work and if my suffering with meds is working.  It makes sense to me.  He agreed.  Oh well...in case we sent a little one to heaven...I told God that I was going to offer this up and pray to accept that His plan is better than mine.  I have been thinking about quitting TTC'ing...maybe this is God's way of telling me...we are getting close.  I don't know.  I can tell you that last month, I felt like something was different but after all these years...I was not going to let myself think I was pg.  How could I?  Lord Help Me!

On a better note...my dh's SA was good!  Praise God!  Dr recommended Prox.eed to help even more for my dh?  Ever hear of it?    I looked it up and it is expensive so any help on this would be appreciated.  My dh could use a little help with moti.lity. It was good but could be better.

Pretty sure I won't be taking the Letrozole...or femara..again.  The diarrhea was horrendous.  Every morning...I had to run..literally...to the bathroom.  Not a good feeling now that I have started working and  going into strange people's homes!  My kids have poopy pants...I don't need that myself. Ha!  I didn't take any vitamins, nothing. It has seemed to quieted down now after ovulation.  Whew.  I still get that gurgly feeling but no running. I guess I'm thinking if that med did help us...then is that particular side effect worth it?  My dh thinks the side effect could be the problem.  I don't know.  I had diarrhea last month too but not as bad as this cycle...and not for as long.  Geez.  Can't seem to get a break here.

One last piece of good news and I can't believe I'm typing this...I like my new job!!!!  It's been really fun working with babies and working with my families.  These little ones are so cute.  Who would have thought that I would get paid to sit on the floor and play with little ones?  Most of my kiddos are 2...so I do some running around and I have to please these little ones who have an attention span of about a minute, a few are good for about 5 minutes. Those mommies out there with 2 year olds know.  I've gotten some tantrums...not too bad.  So, once again, praise God!  He is good.

Fall is coming this weekend...cooler temps and my dh and some friends are going to an apple orchard!  Woo ahhh.....love it!

Another reason I love my dh is that he has been moving mountains for the Knights.  I see God in his work for that organization.  When other knights come up to me and thank me for "letting" my husband be so involved and how much they all appreciate what he does...all I can say "How can I not when he's doing the Lord's work."  I really did marry an amazing man.  For that,,,I will be eternally grateful to God.  Plus, I've been meeting some wonderful people and we've been going to some really nice and elegant events.  So, if feels good to be a wife of a Knight of Columbus.

St. Anne...pray for us!