I guess first I'll give you a little update on the job situation....the principal told me that I could teach the fifth grade again next year if I was willing to take classes towards getting another certification as an elem teacher...what? I just spent four hard, long years in grad school to get certified to teach early childhood to chuck that and pursue something else? Ah...not! So, on Monday...I will let him know my decision to pursue finding a teaching job where I have the credentials to teach....I do miss my younger children....It's my place in this field. I know that and I'd be so "stupid" to go elsewhere. I am trying to remember the experience I'm getting in this current teaching position. I am learning a lot...some I like and some..well...not so much. So that is that. My lovely dh is helping me put my resume together. Lord will help..I just know it. I have faith in Him.
Speaking of the title of this post....as I've recently discovered...teaching isn't all that I thought it would be. It just isn't. I truly haven't had a day off since Jan....literally. If I'm not working at the school...I'm working at home. Last week, I barely made it to bed on time...I had so much to do and with the quarter ending soon....additional stress is coming. Ugh!
I guess I wonder if this happens to new parents....you want the baby...you imagine how it's going to be (like I have for the past 4 years as I studied to be a teacher) and then the baby comes and boom....it's nothing like anyone could imagine...the work...the sleepless nights...the sick child that needs 24 hour attention...etc...etc. I think that happened to me as a new teacher. I thought this was my ticket to happiness and contentment. Now that I am here,,,I haven't found that. Of course, I'm not teaching where I'm credentialed and comfortable...but putting that fact aside...teaching is very stressful...I get pressure from so many directions. I think about my job constantly...I long for a day off. As parents, there isn't a day off...right? hmmmm......
I don't want to be a total downer. I do realize with these jobs there are rewards...I like when children say "I get it now" or when they do well on a test! I like when they smile at me. It's those things that help me along this journey. Parents get rewards as well.
Anyways...my new short term goal is to find more time in my life for prayer and for me. I'm going to make Sunday's my official day off...the work will have to wait. No one ever "choked" over not getting a graded paper back right away..right? hehehe I may have to do more work during the week to achieve my day off but something has to happen...it just does.
Well....Lent is almost here and it will be time to make praying a priority...I will. For the Lord..I will try to make these next weeks my time to remember that He put me here for a reason and I will try to do this job joyfully for Him.
God bless.
Prayerfuljourney.
Sorry about the job frustration. :( I'll pray for extra clarity and peace for you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you had the clarity to know that early childhood is where you want to be and to keep pursuing that track. I wish I had something helpful to say about the job - I am sure there is a learning curve and you'll find that it takes LESS of your outside-work time to get all the prep done when you've been doing it longer, but that doesn't mean it won't take a lot. I can't say I've found all the secrets to happiness in employment myself, so I shall simply wish you luck!
ReplyDeleteWell SHOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm glad you know what you want and are good at and are resolved to find a job in that area. I'm sorry it's been a disappointing finale. NO- it won't ever be your total fulfillment. (Only the Lord is that!) Too many negatives along with the positives. But I do think and hope that you'll grow to love it more as it becomes second nature. You gradually figure out what works, what isn't necessary and what you can toss. Hang in there, girl!!!
ReplyDeleteI think that it is awesome you know where you belong and where you don’t. It’s not going to be fulfilling at all if you are in an area that just isn’t a good fit for you. Wishing you the best on the new job search.
ReplyDeleteI can’t speak towards the children part and, even if I could, I’d be apt to put that into a whole ‘nother category from work, but I can speak to the job. I do understand your disappointment. I spent years and years getting the education for the career that I knew would make me happy. As it turns out, it was just a job and an exhausting and stressful one at that. I was so disappointed to have all these unmet expectations. I think very few people find life’s happiness in their career/job. It’s important to be good at it, to be fulfilled, and to be in a place which you think is a good fit for the talents God gave you, but I don’t think IT will be the thing that makes most of us truly happy. My husband always says his job is the thing he does so he can do the things he enjoys (family, home, ministry, etc.) He likes his career, is proud of it, and he’s good at it. He does well. But, to him, it’s still a job and not really the thing that makes him “happy” or fulfilled. I always thought I would’ve done so much better had I had his attitude at the time instead of so many expectations.
I so get what you mean about teaching!!! It's taken me a LONG time to find a life-work balance, and I still feel guilty that I'm not giving it my 100% every day. My husband, who is also a teacher, reminds me that I need to relax and that if sometimes I need to be at less than 100% then it's okay.
ReplyDeleteI've been beating myself up about not being at the top of my game this year, but I have to remember that it's my first year as a grade two teacher and I have some discipline challenges as well.
It took me a LONG time to get a primary grade and now that I'm here I know that it would take A LOT to convince me to go older (I have both primary and junior qualifications as well as high school, I don't have the quals to teach grades 7 and 8).
The job market here in Ontario is tough and I know that I'm so blessed to be employed and to have a position that I love. I hope and pray that you will find something and soon!