One Year Blogaversary!

OMG...I can not believe it's been one year since I started posting my private thoughts on this blog! Where did the time go??? I was thinking about this post and where I wanted to go with it. There is so much to say! So, I'll start here:

I want to shout out a huge and appreciative THANK YOU to all my readers and commenters. If I never had any comments, I probably would have given up on posting a long time ago. Your comments were so helpful and mean a lot to me...even if it's a :). Before I began blogging I was dealing with IF in such a different way. I thought I had something going on but did not know where to go with it. My IRL friends who have had IF never mentioned me getting a LAP done! No one really cared enough or thought enough to mention that I may have endo ( maybe they were too busy with their own lives to realize I needed some help and just never mentioned it). IT was BLOGGER comments that made me realize...I hadn't done enough! As frustrating as it is to think about it...it's also a relief to know that I did get the info I needed and I had that surgery done. Maybe I'm not pregnant but as of now...I'm healthier. Praise Jesus!

This blog is my onli.ne dia.ry of sorts...especially about IF. I know so much more and I am in awe with how some of you just keep "trucking" along for that desire for a baby is so strong...and a desire truly felt by God. I have that desire too but I'm pretty sure I'm/we're on a different journey. As my new title states...I'm living His will. God wants me to put my desires elsewhere. I have to Live that. I want people to look at me as a women who is this or that and not as a woman WHO DOES NOT HAVE CHILDREN!! Heck, I know I'm more than that...and in order for people to stop looking at me that way...I'll admit..I have to stop looking at MYSELF that way. That is why I want to Live His Will...so I look at myself with purpose. I'm prayerfuljourney the wife, friend, sister, neighbor, TEACHER,not some old IF'er who is depressed and lonely. That is certainly not me. I know as I live His will..I'll be looked at differently and I'll look at myself differently.

So, with that...I went back and read my very first post..these few lines struck out at me...
"My prayer for the year is to find peace and know that it is okay and that I will have a purposeful life without my own children. I'm tired of being envious of others with children. I truly want to be happy for everyone and I feel that I am but when I introspect, I find that I am still sad. Hmmm.......thank God for prayer. I guess I am still searching for that "something" to replace my desire for my own child."

I can say I've found that peace (most days) but I can't say what that "something" is yet...when God is ready..He will let me know( or has He already and I'm too blind to see?). I certainly don't have all the answers yet but isn't it usually in hindsight we realize His answers??? Hmmm.......will my desire be replaced or be something I'll have for the rest of my life however like I said earlier...my desires are needed elsewhere according to God? hmmmm....

Ya know..as I live His will...I've noticed less envy and more joy when others express baby news. Wow! There has been lots of great and exciting news going on in our blog world. So far,,,2010 rocks! Praise Jesus.

I have more answers and I'm much further along with going on with my life then I was a year ago...and I can't thank my readers and commenters enough. I love the comments. Your support and prayers has helped me in ways I can't express in words. I certainly hope I've helped some of you too. Blogging isn't all about me. It's what we do for each other. We have a connection no one else understands (especially those of us who are practicing Catholics and we are following our beautiful churches teachings). I'm in complete awe and I've been inspired. I'm pro.life and loving it!!! :)

Now..to another year of friendships, prayers, faithful guidance and encouragements. May God be with each and everyone of you...may you all feel peace, comforts and especially His love. :)