when someone talks to you about failed IV.F's. That is what happened to me the other day. I subbed in a second grade classroom and at the end of the day I ran into a woman I met when my dh and I moved out here but I would not consider us "friends"...more or less acquaintances. So...she knows my dh and I have been TTC and have IF issues. She has one child through IV.F. She is probably around 41 or 42 years old now. Anyway...she proceeds to tell me that her and her dh conceived one baby on their own last Dec and she unfortunately miscarried that baby. She then told me that they did a round of IV.F....she was pregnant with twins and just recently lost them. She then told me that she has three more embryo's "in waiting", they are going to use those and then they are done. She then asked what we were doing and I promptly said "Nothing...I'm working on becoming certified to teach and my students will be my "children"." I also added "We are very happy." Which we are. I didn't want to go into details with her. I don't know her. She was being nosey, if you will. I didn't ramble about how we gave our IF to God. I didn't say I was sorry for her losses...actually, I've prayed for the babies. She knows that I won't do any ART things. I promptly told her after she studied me for a bit that I needed to run because I had class that night and had a presentation. It was really hard to work all day, drive an hour to class, do my pres, and drive home! Whew! So....we said our goodbye's and that was that. I told my dh that I don't like running into her. She's never been one to have any good news. Never! When I saw her I said "Hi" to be nice not to open up a can of worms. My dh feels saying nothing at all was probably the best thing I could have said.
Other than that, I went horse riding again yesterday. I didn't get called in to sub so I went to my friend's horse farm. It was a good ride and today I'm feeling it. Whew! I took a riding lesson with my friend's trainer and she worked me good. I don't just get on a horse and flump around...I ride the animal...I post...I use my legs to keep him going and steer him...I use reins for collection....there's lots going on and no time to think about anything else. Anyway...kind of funny but the helmet on my head hit a hanging tree branch and the horse got spooked...just a little. I was laughing for I wondered what he thought had happened. Apache is not a beginner rider horse...for he's a "scaredy horse". He always takes the flight plan. LOL! It's all good...I love horses...and I'm enjoying my riding time. Soon it will be winter and there won't be any riding unless my gf and I feel like trailering the horses to a barn with an indoor arena. Not likely to happen. Horses are my other "busy" while I joyfully await the Lord's plan for my dh and I.
Oh..my dh and I are going on a "Loving Couple" retreat this weekend. It's all marriage and prayer focused. We hope it's good and my dh hopes not boring for he's giving up his precious weekend for this (I had to do some convincing). We were not impressed with the Marriag.e Encount.er weekend...so we are fearful about this. That can be another post. Pray for us this weekend that we hear God's message and have a fulfilling weekend of love and prayer. God bless you all. :)
I never know what to say to people who bring up ART either. One lady I'd never met, after getting the hint from my vague answers, just out and out asked if we planned to pursue IVF. It amazes me to no end. It sounds like it was a tough situation for you and that you did the right thing for you.
ReplyDeleteI'm interested to hear how the Loving Couple weekend goes. I've never heard of it. I'd also be interested to hear more about your Marr.iage Enc.ounter weekend as I've never heard anything but good about their weekends.
I'm curious, I was just reading through your history on your sidebar and was wondering if your thyroid is being managed by a thyroid specialist? Don't know why, just a thought that popped into my head.
I will be praying that you and your husband are blessed tremendously during your time on retreat. I have learned that no matter what kind of retreat we are on, God can still speak when our hearts are focused on him! I hope this is life-giving for your marriage!
ReplyDeleteps - I truly hope it is not boring, that is something my DH would worry about!
I don't like talking about ART, I just wish I could really say what I want to.
ReplyDeleteSorry you didn't like the encounter weekend, we actually really liked ours. The couples were great and there was a couple that presented that had IF and adopted, but dialouged about their failed adoption, too. DH and I were able to discuss many of our issues and move through them on the weekend. Hope this weekend is better for you!
FJIEJ: You like Dialoging? Did you join a communtiy after the encounte.r weekend? We liked the community...but we just can not stand the song...it's a long, long, journey....did you sing that on your weekend? I'll have to post about my weekend for it was interesting to say the least. The couples who presented were interesting..and then some. I know some others had a great weekend...so my dh and I wonder if it was our presenting couples. More on that later...and yes, I will fill you in on this Loving Coupl.e retreat.
ReplyDeleteI have a bit of trouble with that too. I can always say sincerely that I'm sorry for the losses - because there's an indisputable material loss, in that their children have died, and because there's suffering there. From what I have seen, failed IVFs carry more grief than any other BFN - miscarriages of course being harder. So I am always sorry for that. But I find it hard to cheer people on for IVFs or IUIs, when I think that those methods are so fraught with problems. But a human life, I can always congratulate. Wow, that's complicated, eh? My DH and I did a marriage encounter too and haaated it. I thought the presenters were completely ridiculous and awful (they did about everything possible wrong), but I wanted to try to get something out of it; my DH insisted on leaving. It was a complete fiasco. I hope your weekend is much better!
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