That is the question I keep asking myself when I talk to my one gf. We've known each other forever...literally. She was raised in a good Catholic home like me and we attended a private Catholic school together however....she has left the church and has found her solace in a non-denominational type of place of worship....they don't call themselves evan.gelical but that is basically what this type of practice is. Lots of people flock to this place. It's good in that they praise God...I don't have a problem with that...however....I always get a feeling from the times I talk to my gf that they are not fond of our beautiful Catholic faith. Whenever the occasion arises...she's ready to knock down my beliefs...she even went as far to say "I don't need to look at a crucifix to remind me that Jesus died on a cross...." She's reminded in her heart. What? She tells me that a priest is just a man....Who needs confession. Blah, blah, blah.....I try not to argue but I do stand up for my faith (of course) but what is the truth behind those words? She's always trying to convert me. I've told her to quit for I will die a Catholic even if I'm the last one on earth. I love my faith and will stand by it. I pray for her and like a priest told me...maybe she's looking to come back but is afraid, she's looking for answers. So what do I say to that? Sometimes I get the feeling that she thinks I look down at her because I'm a practicing Catholic...which I don't. I'm not to judge...I know what I believe and I know my pathway to heaven....I can try to help her but not so much when she's so closed off. There are many things she is now believing about our faith....not good things (she believes a lot of things people tell her...she's gullible). My dh is offended that she feels like she can tell me her opinion however I can't say anything "bad" about what she believes...and I haven't even tried...nor do I want to. My dh is surprised that I can forgive her so easily and continue the friendship. I don't know how much longer it will continue...she really threw in some harsh words tonight. We had to end the call for she had someone at the door. I sometimes think it's the devil talking....I know not a good thought but it's like someone saying "hey, don't believe that...this is better....a priest is just a man...don't need a crucifix...forget about confession.." get my drift???? I must have the grace of God but when she does spit her harsh words...I often fall deeper in love with our Lord and faith. Maybe I should thank her for that. I somehow fight that evil and reconnect with God(Oh Dearest Lord...I love you so.). By the way...she never belittles other faiths...like the Jew.ish faith...Bud.dists..South.ern Bap.tists...just us Catholic.s..So...is it jealousy or regret?
Also...something I thought about tonight....when I moved out here when I got married I used to watch some of those non-denominational type television shows where some speaker would be talking about how to live our lives as good Christians....it was all good and I actually enjoyed these shows (got a message from them) until....some man speaker knocked the Catholic Church and the audience applauded...I thought "Who are you to judge like that?" I know in our faith we are taught not to slander, etc...so this guy speaks his opinion openly and I openly turned to another channel and never turned back. E.WTN is my place to watch and get a good message from now on!!! :)
So what is up with all of this???? My answer...keep praying. I remind myself...that if Jesus got stones thrown at him...so can I. Those hurtful words are the stones. And with that....more prayer and thankfulness that I'm Catholic and happy! And so blessed...my parents gave me the foundation where I have been building my faith. Praise God!!! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
Just a last little thought...my gf's father who is a practicing Catholic does not have too much contact with her....she wonders why. Does she do the same thing to him and her brother?
So...what to do and say....hmmmm.....????? Ideas, thoughts and prayers are welcome. :)
Sorry...one last prayer request....my brother's divor.ce is in the works...papers are being signed...custody battl.e is about to begin. She wants full custody...she's going to fight hard for it. Please pray for justice for my brother. I won't go into it but she's done and said some horrific things to slander my brother's good name...all to get custody. Like I said...please pray for justice. Thank you!!!!
I'm so sorry about your friend. This is harsh, but to me, someone who belittles something you hold so dear (in this case, your faith) isn't a "friend" in the true sense of the word. I think you are right to not belittle her faith. It is good, however, that it makes you love your faith even more. I think you should say that to her.
ReplyDeleteI doubt she is looking for answers or a way back in, but that is always our job: to be an avenue or resourse for God to use to teach others. Most people who leave the Church, do so because they misunderstand some things about it and either never bother to find out or can't find the answers from those they ask.
Now, I say that, but I'm not very good at it (and don't have much of a chance . . . all of my friends are Catholic; my family isn't but they never say anything). My DH is VERY good at it. He converted from Southern Baptist and has read many easy-to-read apologetics books that help him to explain/defend things people say. (I can always see what book he recommends.) When she says something specific that you don't know how to respond to, maybe you could look it up and research how you should respond to it. It sounds like to me that she will bring the critism back up and you'll have an opportunity to explain. Catholic Answer's online is great tool for that. It great to be able to point to where in the Bible or Cathecism we get that from (which of course, will require explaining why we hold Tradition so important . . . there was Tradition & the Church before the Gospel was ever written). Anway, once again, I apologize for the long comment.
Sorry for your brother. Prayers for him.
Please don't be sorry for the long comment, it was great! Maybe God is giving me the opportunity to learn more about my faith and be able to come up with the right answers all the time! I feel I do a good job...she isn't very willing to listen. She believes her being "saved" is her ticket right to heaven...and she doesn't have to do anything else. God help her.
ReplyDeleteI think it's guilt. She doesn't talk about other faiths because they don't upset her. When she thinks about Catholicism she is anxious and upset. I don't feel that way about other faiths - I know I have found my way home (what's left is to live my life in consonance with that!) and I'm not threatened by other people's faith. She's threatened. Can you ask her why she is angry with the Church particularly? Why it is special to her? All she has to do is seek the truth with an open heart...wherever it leads her, she has to go, but follow fearlessly. Easier said than done...
ReplyDeletePrayers for your brother...
ReplyDeleteAs far as your friend...sometimes I think it is hard for people who have fallen away to see those of us who are happily Catholic and in love with Jesus because it forces them to consider the possibility that the Church is all she claims to be, and that there isn't wrong with her, but there was something wrong with THEM when they left.
I'll pray for her. It takes an incredible amount of humility (and grace!) to take of our blinders and pursue Truth.
Kathryn...one would think that she would realize after all of these years that I am strong in my faith...and I agree...she's trying to justify why she left and she's afraid I may be right in my following of our blessed faith ( she can't accept that our Pope is actually a descendent of Peter).
ReplyDeleteMisfit...She told me once that she never understood our faith however the other faith she worships now is easier for her and it's fun. It's all about the easy. hmmmm....that speaks volumes, don't you think??????
Thanks for praying for my brother and gf!
It seems your friend feels she can bash the Catholic Church because she was a Catholic at one time. However, I do believe that Catholicism is the only religion that people get away with criticizing. God put the desire to know the truth in our hearts...and when we reject the truth we have to make excuses and we have to belittle. Your friend is searching....I think asking her questions is the best strategy.
ReplyDeleteI believe a person should follow God in the manner in which he or she is most comfortable. At the same time, I do not believe in belittling another's faith. It's not right. It could be guilt or justification prompting her to say the things says. Most people aren't willfully spiteful; they usually have a reason. I hope she can move beyond that.
ReplyDeleteYa know...I like my gf and we have a good time together....I never wanted our religious differences to get in the way...we both believe in Jesus and want to follow him...but she just can't stop with her digs...that is where she is wrong. It's causing a boundary. I'll let her know. I really get the feeling she's on a mission to convert me...and I'm on a mission to be stronger in my own Catholic faith! Oooh aahhh..
ReplyDeleteso sorry to hear about your brother and his family... they are in my prayers.
ReplyDeletei'm going with guilt with your gf... it's as if she's jibbing you to make up for leaving to make herself feel better. if she is happy where she is, then that is good for her, but why keep at you? maybe in time she will lose the guilt and find her way back, or at least find peace with her decision.
Hey PJ: Would you invite me to your picture blog when/if you get a chance?
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