I've been looking for a blog where Catholic women have accepted that they are not having children and have found wonderful peace and purpose in their lives. Anyone know of such a blog????? I've found some who are adopting or have adopted but what about Catholic women /couples living a childless life? I'm at a point right now where I think and feel God is calling my dh and I to live a childless life.............and until we are truly done with all the fertility hoopla...we can never know His bigger plan for us. We are still on a waiting list to adopt but my dh and I are not really "waiting". Every time that SW comes to our house...it's the same song and dance...so disappointing. We may seek foster care one day when I'm done with school but even that is a far stretch for me/us. My dh and I are talking alot about this new path...we are thankful I had the surgery for I do feel better....but the meds and all the false hopes that go with it are just "sinking" us....none of it feels right. We believe God is talking to our hearts. I ask Him to keep healing and helping us cope with the world (we all know there are cruel and ignorant people out there. I just want to handle them with grace). Maybe I'll be the first woman to have such a blog.....is God calling me to do that?
I have a dr's appt with the RE this morning for a blood test....I hope my thyroid levels are okay now that I've changed the meds some. The test is also a preg test...which I know will be negative....no doubt in my mind on that...it's protocol for the dr and also a waste of money for me. At least they're testing the thyroid too....making the trip somewhat worthwhile. I'm also going to discuss doing just progesterone support. Three dr's have told me I needed that and it does help me to feel better (cycle wise)...so I might as well stay on that.
Yesterday, I went with my gf to look at a horse she sold to someone who now can not afford the horse...so my friend is taking him back. We just wanted to make sure he was okay. He looks good. He was a fun horse to ride so hopefully between my studies...I can get back in the saddle again. My gf and I had a good conversation.....she's always listened to me. I need to appreciate the friends who are supportive more. Really!
Nothing else to say...just going to focus on my grad school work and find joy working with children (and a few horseback riding adventures). I'm also going to devote more of my life to prayer and be open to God's plan for me/us. I read in another bloggers post something about letting go is letting God. I feel that is where we are at. You want it God? Here....it's in your hands. Please know that I will continue praying for all of you. It's been such a blessing to have been able to share and pray with you. We are definitely pro-lifers! God bless you all. :)
BTW: One of my brothers is coming in to visit for Labor Day...which will be nice to see him. Him, my parents and another brother are then going away for the week to a cabin in WI for fishing and fun. I'd go but I have classes and possible subbing. So hopefully I'll nab some pictures to post on my other blog.
I wish I knew of one myself. I just don't know how people get to that point and are really and truly happy with their life. It just really depresses me to think about that. I think of how much it hurts now, and then think of how many more years I'll have to feel that way...not a thrilling thought.
ReplyDeleteBut maybe somehow God could change someone's heart. I'd be interested to find someone who has experienced that so let me know if you do.
In the meantime, I will keep praying for you too. That God makes His plan clear to you.
BTW, thank you so much for your kind words the other day. I know that as long as we keep our eyes on Him, He will guide us down the path He has planned for us.
I don't know of a blog with those features, but maybe God is calling you to be a pioneer here! I will be praying for you regarding accepting what God might be speaking to you!
ReplyDeleteif you find one let me know too!
ReplyDeletei agree with A - maybe this is your new calling!?
you should definitely call around and find out about healing Masses in your diocese. i had been to one previously, but last night's was so different... i highly recommend finding one.
you are in my prayers - have a great labor day weekend and break from school :)
http://three-foldcord.blogspot.com/ I was bored after work today and went searching around for you- this is all I found though!! (It's not super current, but maybe you could email her for support?) Praying for ya!
ReplyDeleteA: Thanks...I will check it out. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteI don't know of ANY blog like that and it's something I've been sort of semi-consciously looking for this whole time. I want to see childless, faithful, and happy (not stupid happy-go-lucky, but understanding that the path is hard and being happy anyway). I don't see it anywhere, and I can't help thinking that that's a really bad sign.
ReplyDeleteMisfit: I just wonder if people who have accepted their childlessness are happy and just don't blog about it. They moved on. What more can one say on a IF blog if one has accepted childlessness and is finding ones purpose doing something else? Maybe their new blog is that something else? Hmmmm.....So far,,,,no one on the blogs I read have accepted childlessness. There's always one more thing to do or try. I don't know....
ReplyDeletePJ: You may have to be a trendsetter. Your probably right, once you've accepted and moved on you probably write about other things that bring joy. Still, no harm in starting out about the IF journey. It is apart of you.
ReplyDeleteI sporadically read a blog from a woman who had a stillborn loss years ago, then accepted their life was to be a couple (in their 40s). She isn't Catholic, though.
I recently came across a blog you might want to look at. It doesn't seem Catholic or even religious, but it is written by a woman who is trying to accept a childless life. http://coming2terms.com/
ReplyDeleteHi, I love this topic. I would have to say that I have accepted childlessness (what a word!) as God's will for me. Is acceptance the same as being thrilled? Probably not. Would it have been great if I had been able to have kids ... yes. Do I continue to live my life nutty over not having children ... like I used to be, no, I don't.
ReplyDeleteIt took a long time to accept God's will. I still get sad about not having kids, but those times are fewer and last for only short lengths of times; like as a passing thought.
I'm super involved with my life. The life God has given me. I enjoy the fruits of not having kids. I spend tons of time with my husband. I cook. I knit. I take classes at the local CC for fun.
Does it replace children? No, it doesn't, but it's what I have, so I make the best of it.
Life is short. I wish having children had been a part of it for me. They weren't. But I'm not going to let the joy of living be taken away from me as a result.
One thing I do know is that you have to grieve the loss of infertility for as long as it takes to reach a point of acceptance.
Rebecca...the key is to not let the joy of living be taken away just because one does not have children! I love that line. I know I'm still grieving that loss...I know it takes time and I just keep praying God gives me strength. So far...so good. :) Thank you so much for sharing with me.
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