God Knew

The last 24 hours were just a whirlwind....and in reflection..it was good.  We can act fast and do whatever we need to to get ready if we should ever get a another email like yesterdays.  My dh did take the stuff back to the store...and he stated today that he would do that again if he needed too.  It was kind of fun buying stuff for the potential baby...thankfully we left it in the car so it was something we didn't have to look at unless we needed too. We did keep the clothes I washed...oh well.  I put them in a closet so I won't have to look at them.  We don't need to be reminded daily what we are waiting for.  I guess now we know we can be ready.

I have to admit that I did have some reservations about the situation.  I do envy the couple who are holding this little guy and so excited to be growing their family in a way I can only dream of now...but on the other hand..they are taking some huge risks.  Risks my dh and I were willing to take.  But God knew.  God knew this child wasn't our forever baby.  So, in the end I'm still left wondering if we'll ever get chosen.  Is there a forever baby out there for us?  After today, those questions remained unanswered and once again... waiting hurts.  I'm trying to not to take this rejection personal and I am sure that b/m looked at many profiles.  I just hope IF there is a next time, I take a deep breath and roll with it more...not get too excited...so hard, so hard.

Now I just need to let it go and move on.  God had a purpose for that yesterday.  I'm not sure what it is but our answer is Yes, Lord, Your will be done.  We put it all in your hands...You knew.

A lot happened last weekend besides Easter,...my dh's nephew did get engaged.  So, there will be a wedding in our near future.  He's been dating his fiance since the 7th grade.  Our adoption situation and this afternoon we found out that one of my dh's cousins passed away this morning.  My dh is pretty close to his cousins.  She had some developmental delays.  She will be missed. 

Once again, thank you for your prayers.  I do appreciate them.