I had my own Napro surgery. If you want to read the results, etc you can check it out here...http://livinggodswill.blogspot.com/2012/08/im-home.html. I told my chiro about this date this morning and he said "Congrats?" and of course I laughed and said "Is this something to celebrate?" Not really. I can say that I don't have endo. I know that pain and I know that has not returned. Thank you Jesus. However, I can say that we are still a family of two. Did I expect a miracle? In a way, yes. I had that glimmer of hope we'd conceive. Because Napro gives one hope. But I do know that no matter what I do...if it's not in God's will for us...it's not going to happen. I guess I need to accept that not having children biologically is not in God's will for us. I was kidding myself that Napro would do the trick. I am so tired of the medicines, the side effects, the expense and holding onto to hope. So, today I'm not celebrating but reflecting and knowing.
I do want to say one other thing too....why is it that AFTER a woman who already has a child can say "Keep persevering...I did and I am now a mommie." Please don't give false hope to women who were never meant to be mothers in God's eyes. Just say "Be fulfilled in God's will for you!" Or something like that. Oh yeah, don't offer that I can be a spiritual mother...that is so not the same as being a real mother. IT doesn't come close.
Whether my dh and I go down that road of foster care (which is just not really exciting me)...we'll live our lives according to His will. We've talked about a few things and it's all holy. We love our faith and will find our own joy in working for Him. I know God wants me to work with His children...so in that way...I'm being a good and faithful servant. God pays me well. :)
Enjoy the rest of the summer...it's going by quickly!
Happy anniversary! ;)
ReplyDeleteI remember my one year anniversary very well. There are so many mixed feelings -- no pain, but hope fading. You are so right about God's will!
I'm holding onto the last bit of summer!!!
Dang summer goes by too fast...I'm hanging on too.
DeletePraying for you. I don't have the words to give you peace, but God is right beside you and I am sending you a hug!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the "hug"...I could use one. :)
DeleteCongratulations on your anniversary of gaining better health! And yes, I really wish people wouldn't say stuff like that because it doesn't always work out that way. So, if I ever say something stupid like that - you have my permission to call me out, k? :) God Bless you and S!
ReplyDeleteThanks JBTC
DeleteSuch a hard day - sending prayers your way.
ReplyDeleteI had a revelation regarding spiritual motherhood recently, I used to literally cringe at the words, and while I do not necessarily like them now, I have a different perspective on it. It's a blog post I've been meaning to write, so hopefully this will be motivation for me to actually do it!