2 W.W

And I'm not talking about waiting for AF...I only have two more weeks with my kiddos and I may be done with teaching forever.  Weird saying that since I worked so hard to become a teacher. hmmmm...I'm over the disappointment that it didn't work out for me and now I'm trying to piece together what I have to do to get my new career path going.  I have so much to do in these next two weeks...that I really can't focus on what I have to start doing. Eeek.  Stresssssssss!!!!!  I said "may" earlier for one just never knows what the future holds.  Afterall, I thought I was going to be a teacher until I retired...and now that is not happening at this time. 
Besides that, I had an appt with my gp who is also Napro.  The bad is that my cholesterol is up...so she's giving me two months to get it down or I'm on meds again.  I got on the scale this AM and was truly disappointed....bad, bad, bad.  I need to do something.  I know I've gained but this is not good.  *sigh*  It doesn't help that I have a bone spur and I can't exercise and need to stay off of my feet as much as possible for the next few weeks either (therapy seems to be helping).  The dr recommended that my dh and I get on that antibiotic for the TEBB...but the last one made my stomach upset and I still had diarrhea in the AM even though I was taking a probiotic.  With 2 weeks left of school and other things...I can't imagine dealing with that.  So, I'm going to wait.  She also thinks Clomid would be good.  I know that will NOT help me to lose weight.  It's such a battle.  If I were pg and gaining weight..I would be okay with that..but being on hormones, etc and gaining weight and have nothing to show for it...is not sitting with me well.  I thought NAPRO was suppose to make me healthier?  How is that happening if I crave carbs and sweets and junk and I'm gaining weight?  I am going to start writing down everything I eat to see if that helps me with keeping my diet in check.  I don't know about Clomid.  I know how I felt on it that last two times...do I go for a third? Ugh!
"T" did the big pg announcement on Mother's Day of all days on FB.  Geez.  She did this thing with her dog and blah, blah, blah.  I took a long walk.  I have reflected and when college friends announce babies on FB I really don't care.  But with "T", it's hitting close to home.  I have been thankful that no one in my family is getting pg anymore.  T is not blood related but since my brother loves her like his own daughter...he's ultra excited to be a grand dad. My brother and SIL didn't have kids of their own.  My SIL had T from a previous marriage.  T and I were friends at one time.  We've talked twice in the last 11 years...once when she got married and just a few months ago she needed something for my brother's 20th wedding anniversary.  I'm happy for my brother.  I guess I just don't know what is going to be expected of me in this whole thing.  I'll have to ride it out to see what happens but my brother and  SIL will be visiting my parents soon and I pray they don't dwell on this baby thing...because if they do...I'm going home. One thing I've realized is that I don't have to sit and listen to baby talk.  I don't have to put myself through that.  It's like me talking to my divorced brothers about how wonderful my marriage is...are they happy for me..yes..but do they care to hear about it...most likely not.  I hope my brother and SIL will be compassionate enough to spare me the details.  They can talk to my mom, sister and whoever else has babies...but not me.  I won't be that person.  I feel that's okay.
One last thing...my dh and I are thinking/praying about fost.er care again.  If my new job allows me the time..which I suspect it will...we may call a social worker and look into foster.ing babies.  No teens for me.  It's interesting but the other day I was talking to a co-worker who told me that in my area there have been lots of babies needing foster homes.  A few couples at my church fostered and have adopted newborns.  If a baby needs a home..my dh and I have a home...it's a tough road and we are just praying about it.  Lots to consider and if we decide that isn't for us...I'm okay with that too. God is good.

St. Anne..pray for us!!!!