**Update** I am feeling better and thank you so much for the kind comments and prayers. My dh and I made up the next morning before work. I had a hard night and did not want to face another day at work with angry feelings. My dh and I can not stay mad at each other for long. On Fri, I had a good talk with my principal...and she agreed that the supports that are in place in my room are working in helping that child so she thinks the supports should stay. I couldn't just understand taking something away that is working. She also gave me a good review which lifted my spirits. :). No one ever said teaching is easy work...it isn't. I just have to do the best that I can for it is where God wants me to be. And you are right...HE wouldn't give me something I couldn't handle. Amen? Once again...thank you.****
Okay, I'll admit...I'm completely spent. I'm stressed, tired and just so overwhelmed at work...it's taking over my life. I can't regain the control I need. Everyday, it feels like I'm being put under more stress. I got a new kiddo about three weeks ago who has been exposed to drugs...he's a handful..tantrums and the whole nine yards. Everything is "no!". It's good he's a little guy because we often have to pick him up and sit on the floor with him to keep him safe (he likes to bang his head). He's setting off my other students who are noticing that he's getting more attention. Vicious cycle. Did I mention that I work with at-risk preschoolers? There's no easy answer. I get support and today they tell me they are pulling away all supports...he doesn't need it. What? When he's having a tantrum...I can't teach the others. He can't handle transitions. I don't know if becoming a teacher was the right path for me. Didn't God lead me down this path? I thought this is what HE wanted of me when I couldn't have children of my own. Well...it SUCKS! My home is messy, I don't exercise (too exhausted), don't eat right (dr tells me to keep an eye on this...I do have issues with inflammation) and right now...my dh and I barely talk to each other and we are fighting more. Teaching has become my life...and the rest has taken a back seat.
And I have to take HCG shots next week (which make me more tired and give me dizzy spells).
I give up.
Btw: I quit taking the antibiotics because they made my stomach really nauseous...I left a msg with the dr...no one has called me back.
I surrender.
Done.
Your job is one that takes it all out of you and then some - I remember coming home and it was all I could do to get out of the car and walk to the couch! Praying that things ease up a bit...and the good news is Thanksgiving break is coming!
ReplyDeleteWhen do you take your HCG shots? I tend to be very susceptable to side effects from meds, and so anything that might make me dizzy or tired gets taken at night before bed. I did my shots right before bed every night and seemed to be OK.
Hoping the doctor calls back soon - sometimes that is the worst part of all of this, waiting for a call back!
Sending many prayers your way!!!!
Oh my goodness, that is crazy and sad and ugh...
ReplyDeleteBut I think the Lord did call you to be a teacher as you are very good and YOU CARE which is maybe why the Lord placed this little boy in your life - he needs as many people that care about him as possible. That being said - yes, you need to draw boundaries and can't let your job take over your life. I know there are no easy answers, but I will be asking St. Elizabeth Ann Seton to pray for you. She was a teacher and I know she can help. Prayers also for your marriage. That is tough...been there.
Hang in there!
Oh dear, I am so sorry about this additional stress! Like JBTC said, the Lord has placed this little boy in your life because he knows what's best and he won't give you anything more than you can handle. I will pray that you soon find proper balance with your work & home.
ReplyDeleteI never had side-effects from HCG. Of course, it made me feel pregnant but no dizzy spells. Are you on thyroid meds? I used to feel tired when my thyroid levels were wacky. I couldn't keep my head straight & had no energy. After being on Throid Meds & Vit D, I feel so much better. Prayers and hugs!!!
Wow. I totally feel for you. It sounds like you're in a very tough spot right now. I am loath to give advice however.... My belief is that the better you take care of yourself, the happier you'll be and can take care of others (if that's what you want or are called to do.) Is taking HCG is a high priority? I went off all my fertility meds because they just made me feel sick and did absolutely nothing for me. And I agree that getting off the antibiotics is a good thing if it's just making you sick. I am not a NaPro apologist by any means. I say if anything makes you feel bad, don't do it. Your health is a major priority!!!! Praying for you... hang in there. It always gets better. I PROMISE.
ReplyDeleteI want you to know that I have been praying for you today, I know that it has to be so hard feeling like so many things are bearing down on you at one time. Your heart is in the right place and God will honor your committment and love and help it to multiply in your classroom and in your home! I hope you can get some needed rest this weekend and reconnect with your husband!
ReplyDeleteI've been right where you are. When you have a tough class and all kinds of requirements, it's very hard to put yourself as a priority. But, the better you take of yourself, the better you can take care of your husband and your kiddos. Even something little like eating good meals and going on a walk. It's hard though. It is. There's no easy answer and some years are just this way. I'll be praying that you find some relief and peace soon. God Bless you!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that I missed your original post! I can totally emphathize with this post, although I've never worked with at-risk kids. You are doing God's work with these children and I know that it must be so trying. I'm glad that you got support!
ReplyDeleteYou continue to be in my prayers! Hang in there!