Eight Years of blogging, the adoption story

First of all, I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  I can say 2016 was a year I will never forget.  With the failed adoption, adopting baby T and my FIL's car accident...and all the drama that ensued after....whew.  We survived.

I can't believe I haven't told the adoption story. Long story short, because of the failed adoption/ scam our agency extended our contract for six more months.  My dh didn't want to go with the extension but I figured since we didn't have to pay for the extension...why not? My dh thanked me for being the strong one when baby T was placed in our arms.

So the adoption story.  It was a warm day and I was outside washing toys that I used for my job.  I was in the backyard when my dh came to the window and demanded that I come into the house NOW!  I thought someone had passed.  I asked "What is going on?"  and he told me that the agency was on the phone.  A potential birthmother was in labor, she chose us and she was local...meaning we only had to drive about an hour (compared to the failed adoption where we drove about eight hours each way..ugh).  I quickly went into the house and got speaker phone with the caseworker.  She gave us as many details as she could.  At that time, the birthmother did not know the gender and she did not want us at the hospital for the birth.  We agreed to move forward and we waited to for the caseworker to call us with the news that the baby had been born.  We just sat at the kitchen table in awe as to what was happening.  We were excited but knew anything could happen when the baby was born. We told no one....not even my parents.  We were not expecting this call at all.

Later that evening we got that call. The baby was a girl and she was healthy and birthmother was doing fine.  We were told to get to the hospital as soon as we could the next day.  The birthmother wanted to meet us.  So, we tried to sleep that night...and the next day, we got up, got ready and got going (after I called the hospital to find out what time we could visit). We had a car seat, diaper bag with some essentials and an outfit to take the baby home in.  We made one stop to buy the birthmother some flowers. 

When we got to the hospital we ran into someone my dh used to work with and when he asked what we were doing there my dh responded "We are here to meet our daughter."....the man was so excited for us.  We got up to the maternity floor and the nurses were so nice and welcomed us.  We had to wait to make sure the birthmother was ready to meet us.  When she was, we went into her room and met her and baby girl.  She right away asked us if we had a name picked out.  We told her what we wanted and asked the birthmother if we could use her name for the child's middle name.  She was honored and quite touched.  We also met the birthgrandmother.  The birthmother asked if I wanted to hold the baby and of course I seized the moment and could not believe this was happening.  I was in a dream state.  After I held her I asked my dh if he wanted to hold her and he did.  As soon as he locked eyes with our daughter, he was in love.  It was a moment I won't forget and even the birthmother commented on the bond she noticed between them.  Oh yes, baby T is a daddy's little girl.

So, after talking to the birthmother and grandmother, which went very well.  It was amazing how comfortable everything was. I truly felt God's presence in this situation.  We were informed by the nurses that they had a room for us and we could take the baby and she would spend the night in our room.  Really?  We didn't have a bag packed so my dh went home (thankfully only an hour drive) and packed some things while I sat in the room with the baby. The nurses showed me how to feed her, change diapers and swaddle her.  I was a little scared with her.  She was so tiny and so brand new.  The nurse did come in and told me that the birthmother wanted to spend some time with the baby which I was fine with.  When the baby was with the birthmother, I called my mother and told her the news.  We both cried (first time I cried since getting the call).

The baby came back to me a few hours later and we all tried to get some sleep.  Every time the baby made a noise, I had to check on her.  I couldn't believe I had a baby sleeping next to me!  I knew I would be tired the next day but I wanted to savor the first night with our child.

The next morning the social worker came to get paperwork signed to make us legal guardians, foster parents for the baby until the adoption was finalized.  We couldn't take the baby home without that.  The birthmother requested to spend some time with the baby and once again, it was all good with us.  We knew she was making a tough decision.  All along, she assured us and the nurses assured us that she was placing.  This was going to happen.  Once the pediatrician did his final evaluation of the baby and  after papers were all signed, etc, it was time to go to the birthmothers room and get the baby to take her home with us.  It was a moment that will be etched in my mind forever.  The birthmother wanted to get out of there quickly.  She couldn't handle the moment of saying good-bye.  I had no idea what to expect.  She said to the baby "I'm going to let your mommy dress you." She got up and grabbed her things and said she just had to leave.  I gave the birthmother a hug and told her "You will forever be in my prayers.  You have no idea what kind of gift you have just placed with us." We were all crying, social workers, nurses, dh, and even the baby.  When the birthmother left, the nurses helped me to dress the baby and place her in the car seat.  Our social worker walked us to the car and we went home. Wow.

We had to wait 72 hours according to the state law for the birthmother to sign surrenders.  So we had the baby home with us and told no one except my parents.  When we got home, they came over to meet their new granddaughter.  My dh and I could not believe she was in our home.  The three day wait wasn't so bad.  My dh went back to work to get things straightened out and to arrange a 2-week paternity leave.  I had to run out and buy things for the baby like more clothes, a bouncy seat and more formula and diapers.  The hospital gave us enough to get through one night or so.

After we got word that the birthmother had signed the surrenders, we then told our families and friends.  It was so much fun to surprise everyone.  Not too many people were aware we were even adopting. 

It all happened very fast.  We were prepared in some ways and in many ways..not so much.

Baby T is eight months old now and doing well.  She has changed our lives in ways I never imagined.  Yes, it's been tough at times and I worry more now then ever.  Being a parent is a very humbling experience.  Life is always changing.  I live day to day.  Some days she naps and sleeps great...some...not so much.  She actually got mad at me the other day and cried and if she could have pointed a finger at me...she would have and probably used some choice words.  I had to hold back laugher for she has never expressed that emotion with me like that before.  I was only fixing her pants!  She has started to say "dada" and "daddy" now...and will look at my dh and say it to him...so she knows who he is.  She's called me dada a few times...mama will come later. 

For those curious to know...our adoption is semi-open.  We send the birthmother pics through a private email account and updates when she requests them.  She is such a sweet young woman and so very strong.  We are always willing to be more open when the birthmother is ready.  We will be open with baby T about the adoption and share what we know.  We will let her know how much her birthmother loves her and how strong she had to be to make the decision to place her for adoption. 

Oh yeah....I almost forgot that I have been blogging for about eight years now.  Where has time gone?