I know on my last post, I talked about seeing a therapist (and thank you for all of the supportive responses from my last post. I was truly touched.). Well, that is going very well. She is exactly what I needed at this time in my life. I can tell her anything and she helps me to sort out what is going on in my life and my family. She isn't in the thick of things so getting an outsider's opinion has been helpful. We even pray together. Here are a few things I've learned so far...
1) I am not crazy and I have not done anything in my life that is wrong. Life happens and my dh and I have been coping with what life has thrown at us.
2) I can use the cross of "childlessness" to draw closer to God with certainty. Now that I am praying and working on that, I feel less anger and anxiety. He has a purpose for this cross in my life. I pray everyday "Lord, help me to use this cross to draw closer to You." My faith is now only getting stronger.
I will keep seeing this therapist.
Also, A few weeks ago a dear friend of ours passed away. He was such an amazing mentor for my husband and made him the Knight of Colum.bus that he is today. He really took an interest in my dh. We often ate dinner with him and his wife at Knigh.t functions. My dh and I will miss him. He got sick quickly and died quickly as well. I truly felt God's presence at his wake and funeral (how does anyone not cry when singing the song "Be not afraid"?). We have learned that not only did he help my dh but many other men as well. God rest his soul.
Anyways, something very amazing is going on in our lives and yesterday my dh and I both talked about how this friend who passed may have something to do with it on the way to our chapel time. We both were praying for a certain answer yesterday as well and when we were driving home, we knew we had our answer. Not only had this man helped my dh (and me) on earth but now he is helping us from above. So, now we are certain we have an angel in heaven whose intercessions are helping us. Thank you "D"!
I'm not going to share any details yet. It's too soon and new and we are just going to let it sink in. Someday we hope we can share this story with his wife. I know she'll be nodding her head in agreement that he did indeed have something to do with all of this.
God bless you all.
God's timing and purpose can be hard to see sometimes, but they are amazing. I'm so glad your therapist is helping you work through that. I am sorry for the loss of your friend, but I have goosebumps at the way that he is still helping you out! I love the communion of saints, and that even though death is painful, it is not the end of our relationships with these people; in some way it's only a new beginning.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it all gives me goosebumps as well. I like how you pointed out how through death there can be beginnings. So true!
DeleteI'm glad that you found someone yoou feel comfortable talking with. Tat can make all the difference. And, to be able to pray with them as well, awesome!
ReplyDeleteI'll be keeping you and your DH in prayer as you deal with what is goinng on in you lives!
I agree...being comfortable with therapist is of the utmost importance. She has made me see so much about myself already. Very therapeutic.
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