Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Grief Counseling?
To make a long story short....I had a horrible day yesterday...not so much in the classroom but just an overall bad mood day. I just felt like I was carrying the world and the cloud of doom and gloom hovered over me all day. My poor dh tried and tried to help but ended up making things worse....we went to be without saying much to each other. Of course, it all related to IF. I just can't seem to let it go. :( The one suggestion he had for me was to consider counseling. There are days I just can't accept our childless life. It's so tough....I don't think God can help(well, it feels that way). I get so down....I don't even know where to begin in prayer. The one thing my dh has noticed is that this happens periodically and it's been going on for way too long. His suggestion was to see a grief counselor. The last stage of grief after losing a loved one is acceptance...he has seen that I've reached all the other steps but not acceptance. SHould I accept? Is there a glimmer of hope we could still adopt? Only the Lord knows....but my dh just thinks and feels I need some solid support. I need someone to help me get my thoughts and life back in gear. hmmmmm.....I need to move into another direction. Did I ever mention that one of the teachers at the school where I teach is not married and she does not have children? She's been such a mentor for me (teaching wise) and we've talked about how our crosses are similar yet different. It's not easy being a single woman in a world that really has a lot for couples....or a childless woman in a fertile world. I'm going to miss her when I leave that school. Maybe we'll keep in touch. She's been a blessing to me. I've thought about talking to her about my own personal life...but I don't know....maybe in time. I hope everyone is doing well. Next week...I start my spring break..FINALLY! Lord...I need it!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I've thought many times that I need to see someone to talk about my frustrations with IF. It can't hurt to seek out counseling.
ReplyDeleteYou must be counting down the hours to spring break! I know that after we got back from our March Break I knew that the end was in sight!
I haven't commented in a long time, but I read you fairly often. If you decide to go to counseling, I would recommend that you try to find a counselor who has experience with infertility issues (I think there is a list on RESOLVE's webpage, otherwise I'm sure you could just google it for your area). I was very overwhelmed by our childlessness in November juxtaposed against tons of friends who were all moms/pregnant, and I decided to go see a counselor. Mine was good in general, but she didn't really have any experience with counseling infertile clients, and so her recommendations (which were few and pretty general) didn't really help. I think it would have been much more productive if I had gone to someone who knew what infertile people go through: emotionally, mentally, physically.
ReplyDeletePS. In case you were thinking of clicking over to my blog, you should know that God has blessed us with a child (in January)- I don't want you to be blindsided- I will continue praying that God's will for your family will be clear and that He will give you the courage/comfort you need in the meantime (HUG)
Some day, I am going to find a psychologist who will actually take me on as a patient. You will probably pull it off before I do at the going rate, but I just think it can only help. Stupid advice I am already used to ignoring; actual support and insight would be awesome.
ReplyDeleteI think a grief counselor would be a great idea. The life of an infertile is so hard to navigate without help.
ReplyDeleteAlthough we are no longer childless (after 9 years of marriage, we adopted our daughter), we are going on 10 years of infertility and it still hurts.
Go for it.
ReplyDeleteDitto. I think it's a great idea.
ReplyDeleteIt might be painful at first but if you get the right therapist/doc/counsellor and stick with it, it will pay off.
I was spared having much grief over IF because I was so excited about being called to adopt but I sometimes found the whole being childless around other couples with kids hard. So I do understand. One of the most painful things for me was walking past children's clothing stores. Totally random but there you go.
Anyway, I know it's painful. I'll be offering up my sleepless night for you tonight!